Headcheck Monitoring Tech To Become Mandatory

UPDATE: A happy April Fool's Day to our readers!

And well done to those who picked it. Of course, there are no plans to introduce a 'headcheck monitor' on new cars. We hope you enjoyed the story and got a chuckle out of it.

Our original story continues unchanged below.

The Federal Government is expected to announce the introduction of mandatory Headcheck User Monitoring Technology (HUMT) to all new cars from 2027.

In an effort to reduce the number of accidents involving cars side-swiping other vehicles during lane changes, the monitoring system uses cameras to make sure the driver is performing headchecks – that is, consistently looking over each shoulder while at speed.

The system emits a loud screeching noise every few seconds if the driver fails to comply.

However, early tests have found the system clashes with Driver Attention Monitoring (DAM), which requires the driver to keep their eyes on the road ahead at all times.

Engineers from the University of Geelong’s Motorist Betterment Research Institute have reported being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder after spending hours dealing with HUMT screeches and the DAM beeps.

Professor Alan Smithee appeared before media to praise the technology, despite displaying a noticeable head twitch.

“Yes, of course, we would prefer the DAM beeps to stop, but getting HUMT by the government is the absolute Number One priority for authorities,” Professor Smithee said.

“Unless drivers employ safe practices – like indicating, headchecking, and not tailgating – these kinds of safety systems will continue to be made mandatory.”

The Federal Government is expected to make a formal announcement at 12 midday today.

Stay tuned to CarSauce for updates.